What could dwarf Chevron’s biggest-ever profits of $35.5 billion in 2022 — besides the mounting costs of climate-fueled disasters, of course? You guessed it: ExxonMobil’s 2022 profits. Exxon cleared a net profit of $56 billion in 2022, besting its previous record of $45.22 billion in 2008 by more than 23%, making it the most profitable year for any western oil company ever — roughly equivalent to $106,000 in the time it will take you to read this paragraph.

Apparently referencing his company’s exploitation of the war in Ukraine, record-high gasoline prices, and increased home-heating costs, Exxon CEO Darren Woods credited “a favorable market” for helping enable the company’s superlative-defying year.

White House spokesperson Abdullah Hasan said Exxon’s “latest earnings reports make clear that oil companies have everything they need, including record profits and thousands of unused but approved permits, to increase production, but they’re instead choosing to plough those profits into padding the pockets of executives and shareholders.” (Reuters, AP, BBC, NPR, Gizmodo, Wall Street Journal $, Inside Climate News, Bloomberg $, OilPrice, The Hill, Politico Pro $, E&E $, CNN, FT $, Wall Street Journal $)